Waiting

 

Things I'm still waiting for or questions that haven't been answered.

In no particular order, just as I think of things, I'll be adding to it. There's a lot, and I can't remember how long I've been asking for most of it.

A new CTR (care and treatment review).

The last time I was sectioned (March/April 2024), I was discharged before I had a CTR. I said I still wanted a CTR at home, they said I could still have a CTR at home, then they cancelled my CTR after I was discharged.

They've since told me that I need to be on the DSR (dynamic support register) to get a CTR (which is untrue), and that an urgent CTR would be an LAEP (local area emergency protocol), when they know that I'm asking for an actual CTR that I'm involved in.

Four handwritten A4 pages of previous CTR actions that haven't been done, from four different CTRs since 2020.

A printed copy of the final CTR report from July 2023.

Respite care.

I had six weeks a year pre-agreed at a care home, but it's never available and they haven't found anywhere else for me to go. Now they're saying that I need a new care assessment to get any care.

Adapted social care assessment.

I've been asking for a new, adapted care assessment (clear, written questions) for getting on for two years now. They've been telling me that I need a new care assessment since around March(?) this year, told me they would look into adapting it and I haven't heard anything about an adapted assessment since, they just keep offering me an appointment to do the assessment in person, knowing that they can't do it that way.

S117 meeting.

I haven't had one since before I left hospital in January 2021. As far as I'm aware, s117 aftercare is meant to be reviewed every year. If they've ever reviewed it, they've done it without involving me and without telling me.

Adapted s117 aftercare assessment.

They say they've adapted it all they can. They haven't. They didn't even tell me I needed it til about 18 months after I was entitled to s117 aftercare, because I apparently "wasn't ready to engage" at the time (I didn't know about it).

I've lost track of all the questions I've asked that I haven't had answers to, because most of the time I don't get replies to my emails. (And then they wonder why I keep emailing...) It's things like:

• do I still have my direct payments for carers?

• can I be switched to the virtual wallet/can you give me information about it so I can know whether it's suitable?

• are you looking for respite care? (though I know the answer is no)

• what happened to the clear information that transforming care and LPFT social care were putting together for me?

• why aren't you helping/where is the help?

• are you adapting the care assessment?

• do I have a new psychiatrist/care coordinator? (been discharged now, never got new ones)

• how does prescription delivery work?

(I can't think properly at the moment, I just wanted to put something down in case I don't get a chance again for some time.)

 

[Moved from another blog. The date/time are from the original post.] 

Lies

Things I've been told, or that have been said about me, that are untrue. And, where appropriate, what actually happened, to the best of my knowledge.

This is in no particular order. I'll be adding to it when I think of things, and editing for clarity, to add details or to make any corrections (I have memory issues, I remember things wrong/get things confused sometimes -- conveniently for services who can then claim I'm unreliable while they keep trying to rewrite what happened). I'll try to log any edits.

I thought I'd be able to think of loads of things but I'm struggling to think. It's frustrating.

[Content warning: self harm, suicide, hospitals, police, mental health services, traumatic experiences]

I need to be on the DSR (dynamic support register) to have a CTR (care and treatment review).

MHLDA (mental health, learning disability and autism) team, May(?) 2024.

Being autistic doesn't make me vulnerable so I don't need an appropriate adult (in custody).

Lincs Police, November 2019.

I walked into traffic on a dual carriageway.

HM courts (section 2 appeal), November 2020.

Never happened. The only thing I can think of is I walked towards the bypass, but stopped before I got there. I couldn't speak to explain, I was trying to get arrested not kill myself. My family were there and they thought I was going to walk into the road on the bypass, that's why I stopped before I got there.

I put myself in danger on a road.

Lincs Police, September 2020.

Didn't happen. I was walking on the path and was crossing or about to cross a road in front of offices/flats when the police stopped me and sectioned me after leaving PCDU (psychiatric clinical decisions unit). The road wasn't the danger.

Antisocial behaviour (lying on the ground) outside the hospital, and I'd been assessed as medically fit to leave.

Hospital staff/security and Lincs Police, November 2021.

I was still affected by an overdose. Hospital staff had failed in my care and told me I was in the way, they didn't have time for this, etc, as I was on the floor in the corridor trying to get some actual care after being left in a side room and not assessed because I couldn't do what they wanted. I only got a blood test because I was on the floor in the corridor. I wasn't assessed at all. I couldn't cope and needed to lie down, and they'd sat me in a wheelchair, so I went outside and laid down. The police picked me up and left me outside my house. I was in and out of consciousness. I couldn't see properly and couldn't get in the door. My neighbours found me an hour later, I got more care from them than anyone else that day.

I took an overdose of [multiple medications].

Hospital staff, October 2020, June 2024 (and likely more dates).

Assumptions/wrongly recording what I actually took, making it sound like I took far more than I did.

I refused to engage/refused support.

So many people, too many times to remember.

Often they wouldn't adapt, or their idea of help wasn't helpful.

I threatened to start a fire (in hospital while sectioned).

Psychiatrist and nurse, November 2020.

I said I didn't want to start a fire. I meant it literally. I'd thought of it and ruled it out straight away. I get why they misunderstood at the time, but not after I explained repeatedly that it wasn't what I said or what I meant. I was highly distressed and couldn't cope in the hospital, and I thought I'd have to break the law to get sent to prison instead. And their reaction (taking most of my stuff out of my room to "make it safe", which they said the next day was done in error) caused more distress.

They've adapted the s117 aftercare assessment as much as they can.

MHLDA team/LPFT (Lincolnshire partnership foundation trust) social care, 2024.

They haven't. They haven't replied to anything I wrote in/about it since July 2023.

They cancelled my next psychiatrist appointment so that they could make another appointment with reasonable adjustments.

CMHT (community mental health team), 2022(?).

They never made another appointment. They thought I didn't want one. I asked for a new psychiatrist (I struggle with strong accents) and never got one before I was discharged by CMHT in April 2024.

I would get stabilisation therapy.

Transforming care, 2022(?).

Then they said appointments were destabilising and they'd continue to support me by email (there was no support by email).

They'll be there for as long as I'll see them.

Transforming care, 2021.

Then they changed everything in February 2022. The person I was seeing left, they changed to a short-medium term service. They blew apart everything I thought I knew about my care and then wondered why I couldn't cope with all the changes.

I'm well enough to be discharged.

Crisis team, May(?) 2024.

They never assessed me so couldn't know that.

----

(Added 16/11/24, afternoon)

Helping me includes helping my cat.

Transforming care, 2021/22.

MHLDA team/social care have since told me that they have no responsibility to help my cat/help me with looking after my cat.

Managing my direct payments myself would make me an employer.

LPFT social care, 2022(?).

I'd use care companies/self employed people, not directly employ people myself.

I demanded an English AMHP (approved mental health professional) at my MHAA (mental health act assessment).

AMHP/MHA assessors, October 2023.

I asked for written questions as a reasonable adjustment, which they refused and said they'd get an English AMHP instead, making out that I was being racist when I have a processing difficulty with strong accents (which includes English accents).

 

[Moved from another blog. The date/time are from the original post. I can't add all the tags because there's a limit of 20.]